Being helpless

Bloody Indians are often infuriatingly helpless when abroad. They expect to have their hands held for them every step of the way. They use the “I’m new here” card for months on end. “I’m new here, can you get me something from the vending machine?”

They have instructions in pictures, stupid.

Some of them get this helplessness so ingrained that they won’t eat unless they’re served. They won’t help load or unload their own suitcases from a car... and they won’t even go and get a trolley. If they’re abroad on work, they’ll know absolutely nothing about the city except for how to get from the office to the hotel.

Only after a couple of visits, will they slowly get to know the few Bloody-Indian-approved spots in the city.

Safe zones
I’m sure you’ve noticed, Bloody Indians are always seen in groups at the same places. That’s because these places have been deemed “safe” by generations of visiting Bloody Indians. Places where the food is not too experimental, and there’s good value for money. Places that have sales and bulk offers. Malls. (Bloody Indians love malls because they are free (most important), impersonal and full of girls to lech at.)

Some Bloody Indians feel so crippled by the exchange rate that they spend barely enough money to survive. Let’s face it, it is difficult when you come from a land where you can get an excellent cup of coffee for ten cents and can eat yourself to death for a couple of dollars.

Some get out of paying for stuff and actually act as if it’s their birthright to have somebody pay for them. “Why the hell should I pay 400 rupees for a sandwich? Let them pay, anyway they’re rich.”

Which is the same as: “Amma. Ammmma. Ammmma? Pay for me no amma? I have rupees amma, and you have dollars. Pay for me no amma?”

GOT SHAME?

In this way, Bloody Indians save lots and lots of money. More money than you would have believed possible. Give an Indian an allowance of $500 dollars a week and he or she will have saved $12,000 after two months. Nobody knows how it’s done. May be God feels upset about these people living on stale eggs and crumbs and gives them some of His own money.

A large portion of this loot is sent back home. After repatriating 90% of it, they’ll still have $4,000 or so. Yes, it’s a miracle and it happens every day. They’ll take this $4,000 to the closest bulk-goods store and spend and spend and spend. They’ll buy four tons of cheap chocolate. One hundred and thirty pairs of Nike trainers. Case loads of shirts and
trousers.

You see, the Bloody Indian believes in having something to show for money spent. Good food and entertainment is for the birds – you can’t pack it into a suitcase and use it impress the folks back home.